A quick google search reveals a bias in the online-dating advice industry: it’s all about pictures, bios, and listicles of “the 10 unwritten rules of online dating.” This stuff is important. You need a fire profile and to understand the etiquette.But here’s the thing: this advice is easy to give because it’s easy to implement.You can pay a professional profile pic photographer for better images.You can get your female friends to help you with your bio. If you’re devoting more than 50% of your bandwidth to picture selection and bio tweaking, you’re mis-allocating your resources. Messaging is the job interview a screening combined. Quality opening messages are important because you need to a) get them to respond, and b) dive deep enough into the conversation right away so you can emotionally connect before one of you drops the conversation. D.: There’s always more swipes to swipe, more matches to match, more options to gather.Apply that to who you (really) are and trust that the right people will connect with it.This advice is given from the perspective of men seeking women (since that's largely our experience), but it applies to everyone.
The guys here at Primer have, at different times, been in the New York, Los Angeles, and Denver dating scenes off and on for years. I’ll risk you breaking my nose trying boxing if you’re down for [your favorite local adventure/cocktail spot/etc.] If you’re thinking, “I don’t have time for that!
And remember: you’re not just trying to time to meet up. Are they genuinely into you, or just responding to the attention? It’s also important not to misrepresent yourself for if (and when) you meet up with someone.
Getting past the pleasantries and straight into a real exchange is the best way to figure out if they’re interested and you should be interested. As Jack Donaghy once told Liz Lemon: Be open, confident, and positive.
I don’t want to insult our readership with this, but for the troglodytes who somehow found their way to Primer: Aziz Ansari uses the perfect app pickup line: “Going to Whole Foods. ” It’s unexpected, overtly nurturing, and signals an upper middle class socioeconomic status. By targeting everyone generally you’re targeting no one.
Internal testing at Primer indicates the personal touch works.