The non-ADHD partner complains, nags, and becomes increasingly resentful while the ADHD partner, feeling judged and misunderstood, gets defensive and pulls away. Once you are able to identify how the symptoms are ADHD are influencing your interactions as a couple, you can learn better ways of responding.For the partner with ADHD, this means learning how to manage the symptoms.Find a time to sit down and talk when you’re not already upset.Let your partner describe how he or she feels without interruption from you to explain or defend yourself.Sometimes it feels as if your significant other just doesn’t care.It’s easy to see how the feelings on both sides can contribute to a destructive cycle in the relationship. Transforming your relationship starts with understanding the role that ADHD plays.If you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you may feel lonely, ignored, and unappreciated.
The first step in turning your relationship around is learning to see things from your partner’s perspective.
If you’ve been together a long time or you’ve had the same fights again and again, you might think that you already understand where your partner is coming from.
But don’t underestimate how easy it is to misinterpret your partner or spouse’s actions and intentions.
For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued.
You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to others. Even when a person with ADHD is paying attention, he or she may later forget what was promised or discussed.