When disturbed characters make excuses for their behavior, they know what they’re doing.They have a clear purpose in mind when they’re seeking to justify themselves.The doctors later tell her that he has suffered a stroke, is virtually brain-dead, and will not recover.Yet, every day she is by his bedside, holding his hand and talking to him.And, more importantly, they don’t want to accept and internalize the notion that such behavior should not be done again.
The doctors tell her he will not recover, but she only replies, “I know he’ll pull through, he’s such a strong man.” This woman is in a unique psychological state – the state of denial. Not long ago she was in the yard with her darling, enjoying one of their favorite activities.
When a covert aggressor (CA) knows his or her “opponent” inside out (i.e.
knows their sensitivities, fears, insecurities, core beliefs, level of conscientiousness, etc.), a vast opportunity opens up for using that person’s traits (often, their most socially desirable traits) against them in a covert war for dominance.
Covertly aggressive folks prefer this kind of tactic as opposed to open defiance because it not only helps conceal their aggressive intentions (as well as some telltale aspects of their character) but also simultaneously helps them maintain a more favorable social image (by getting someone else to see things their way or buy into the purported reasonableness of their actions).
And once they get the other person to become more accepting of their premise, they’re well on their way to winning the contests of image and interpersonal control. It’s a testament to what I’ve said all along about disturbed characters and their level of awareness (for more on this you might want to read the post: ).