If your partner doesn't have these beliefs and values, they will be less affected by your efforts, but they still may react positively because of the fact that it was a sign of caring. People who care about others, treat others well, and have good interpersonal skills will generally be more successful with others than people who don't.People who are too aggressive, dominating, or distancing or people who are too passive, submissive, or dependent may generally have problems forming close relationships.He used individual counseling, an assertion training group, and self-help books. More importantly, he was much happier with himself and his life. Most people I see don't start at such a low level and only want or need much less help.If you think you have a long way to go, then it is helpful to know that others have gone even further.
Instead, spend your time productively looking for someone who is available. For romantic relationships, similarity of overall attractiveness is also important.
Those positive contacts increase the chances that your partner will value you and feel closer to you.
Negative contacts increase distance and resentment. Even though creating positive interactions are the best way to achieve closeness and intimacy, just being together and sharing a common history, especially positive common events, can help two people feel close.
(Don't use coercion to be together though, because coercion has huge negative affects often outweighing any positive effects of the shared time.) All relationships fall somewhere on the intimacy continuum.
To get closer and more intimate we must move along that continuum in our relationship with someone.