In my opinion, it is important for two people in a relationship to be strong enough that they can be a complete person to offer to another.
I do not think that someone who is in a great deal of mental pain is a good candidate for a relationship.
As a follow-up to our article, here are more thoughts on navigating the often tricky waters of dating someone who is beginning to date after grieving the untimely loss of their partner or spouse – from Members of our own Widow/Widowers community here on e Harmony Advice, in their own words.
As you’ll see from the passages below, everyone’s reaction to their circumstance, opinions and experiences are going to be different, so it’s important to keep in mind the specific needs of your match as you progress.
It is natural to want a partner, but the partner is not a substitute.“One should wait until THEY feel they are ready.
Be aware that if that is all he or she can talk about then they’re probably not ready to date.”“It is not a competition between you and the departed spouse. Give them time to adjust and try not to take it personally.
Make sure that you ask key questions, and be honest with each other.
The widow(er) will make this decision for themselves, but the important thing is that you are about to discuss, respect and be comfortable with the amount of time they’ll need.
Is it common for widow(er)s to compare new dates to their former spouse?