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These days, the internet, the smartphone, messaging and Skype have turned that millennia-old dynamic on its head.Sex was supposed to be the last domino to fall after a long social ritual, not the way to say hello.Viewing and sharing sexual content is becoming the norm – as has hiding it from parents.The acronyms NIFOC (naked in front of computer), GNOC (get naked on camera), NP4NP (naked pic for naked pic) and POS (parent over shoulder) need no explanation to anyone in their teens or 20s, but may well be a shock to parents such as Sarah.He was showing symptoms of addiction to his phone and withdrawal from the world.He was discovering girls, dating and sex – nothing abnormal about that – but because it was all happening online, it was affecting his nervous system in ways we are only just beginning to understand. For my generation (I am 44), the first hurdle we had to overcome was getting to whatever party it was where there might be some action.Now the only vehicle that matters is the smartphone.

But the effect it was having on her youngest was clearly not OK.Sarah’s three sons, aged 17, 15 and 14, were on their devices constantly.She felt isolated and disconnected from them, with no idea what they were actually doing online.Receiving these positive visual and auditory signals makes us connected, compassionate and cooperative.Our brain’s ‘social-engagement system’ is triggered. This gives a softness and warmth to our eyes and cheeks, making us expressive.